Nomadic Me

I’m moving back to my Blogger site.  I don’t know why, but I have struggled to write here.  Maybe its TOO clean.  Blogger has some fun, new templates, and its all set up.

Unfortunately, its not as easy to transfer posts from WordPress TO Blogger as it was to transfer from Blogger to WordPress.  So I haven’t figured out what I am going to do about that yet.  But please come and join me 

www.rebelliouspastorswife.blogspot.com

Gestures Confess

I really liked this post by Pastor Weedon on gestures in worship, so I’m caling it to your attention as well.

http://weedon.blogspot.com/2009/05/gesture-in-worship.html

Ooh…He’s blogging again

To show you how much I actually pay attention, lately (I’m sorry!), one of my favorite bloggers has returned, and he posted about Mark Souder’s resignation…a very good post. Thank you, Pastor Esget!

http://www.esgetology.com/2010/05/18/brief-reaction-to-the-souder-resignation/

I Am that I Am

Picture two kids sitting in a sandbox:

Image via Wikipedia

Emma:  My grandma’s name is Anna

Molly:  My grandma’s name is Anna, too.

Emma:  My grandma lives on High Street.

Molly:  My grandma lives on High Street, too.

Emma:  My grandma likes to bake pies.

Molly:  My grandma bakes amazing pies!

You’d pretty much expect that these two girls are sisters or cousins…that they have the same grandmother, right?  But it goes on.

Molly:  My grandma is a widow.

Emma:  My grandma lives with my grandpa.

Molly:  My grandma has a two story house

Emma:  My grandma has a one story house.

These aren’t the same women, are they?  This may not matter to you.  It would certainly matter to them, and it would certainly matter if you were the one at the school who was responsible for handing over these girls to the right grandmas who were picking them up after school.

________________

Today was Trinity Sunday.  It’s a special day in the liturgical year.  It is a day where we say the Athanasian Creed.  It is usually too long to say every week, but it is a clear, repetitive proclamation of who

Christians believe God is, the doctrines taken from the Bible.  It starts out and ends with a clear

proclamation that whoever does not believe this, is not saved.  While many denominations claim to have no use for creeds — that is fine.  They don’t have to say it.  They do have to believe it to be truly Christian, because the Athanasian Creed was created in order to clarify what is orthodox Christianity, and what is heresy.

We live in a world where there are many religions that claim to know God, and even claim to know Christ.  The Muslims hold Christ up as a good prophet.  Even the Jews sometimes will state that.  The Hindus even claim that He was possibly an incarnation of Brahma.  The Mormons claim that He was the eldest spirit brother of all of us – who are all spirit children of the Father God of this planet.  The Jehovah’s Witnesses confess that He is the Archangel Michael.

In this world, many want to state that there are  a multitude of ways to be saved, and that believing in Jesus is only one of them.  Even the Pope John Paul II stated that Muslims and Jews who were obedient and good would enter into heaven.

The fact of the matter is this is all false.  And the reason that this is false is that if there were ANY other way to be saved, why would God have sacrificed His only Begotten Son?  Why would He have put Him through being conceived by the Holy Spirit, born of the Virgin Mary, suffered under Pontius Pilate, CRUCIFIED, DIED, and BURIED?  He LOVES His son.  He also loved us and knew that there was only one way that we sinful, rebellious people could be made at peace with Him.  Not anything we could do — like good works or nice thoughts.  But ONLY the blood of one truly innocent…truly God…truly man could pay for our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

And if this is the case, and it is, to proclaim that there are other ways, that other faiths who say that Jesus was a wise man, a good prophet, an incarnation of their high God — is to spit in the face of the real God who loved us so much that He did send Christ to die for us.  To say Jesus is a good prophet, when Christ confessed Himself that He is God, is saying that Christ is not who He says He is.  That He is a liar (John 8).  That what He did for us isn’t important.

We may think that we are being loving and open-minded when we are open to “other ways of salvation.”  When we claim that all roads lead to God.  But if God could not let it be so — if He crucified His Son for us, when there were other “equally valid” religions claiming different ways to salvation, we are not being loving.  We are being liars.  We are not helping those who do not yet recognize the truth.  We are not helping them get to the right God.  The one who loves them so much that He sent His ONLY Son from eternity to take on flesh to die for them and rise for them.  Who has the power to take them to the home they belong in.

Friends

Rebekah at Concordian Sisters of Perpetual Parturition has a very good post to keep in mind here called “Friending.”

She makes a great point. 

Often, pastors’ families are encouraged to not get too close to the congregation.  Sometimes, after being hurt a few times, we back away from people.  Sometimes, members of the congregation don’t want to let us into their lives.  I’ve experienced all three situations.  But that doesn’t mean that no one is friend material, or that you won’t find friends somewhere in the congregation or in the community.

Be kind, be loving, be open — with the love of Christ — who was open and loving despite having his heart broken so many times by those he came in contact with — and pray for peace and friends.  And always feel free to remind me of that, as well. 

Who Prays for the Pastor’s Wife

Acidri wrote the article “Who Prays for the Pastor’s Wife?” on her blog.  It is a really good read.

She references these statistics in reference to the pastor‘s family:

* 90% of the pastors report working between 55 to 75 hours per week.
* 80% believe pastoral ministry has negatively affected their families. Many pastor’s children do not attend church now because of what the church has done to their parents.
* 33% state that being in the ministry is an outright hazard to their family.
* 75% report significant stress-related crisis at least once in their ministry.
* 90% feel they are inadequately trained to cope with the ministry demands.
* 70% do not have someone they consider a close friend.
* 50% have considered leaving the ministry in the last months.
* 50% of the ministers starting out will not last 5 years.
* 1 out of every 10 ministers will actually retire as a minister in some form.
* 94% of clergy families feel the pressures of the pastor’s ministry.
* Over 1,700 pastors left the ministry every month last year.

The Fuller Institute, George Barna, and Pastoral Care Inc. 2009

I can definitely say that some of these statistics apply to us, though because my husband does not work 55-75 hours per week (closer to 45-50), he is a very present father and husband, I don’t see the strain on the part of my children.  They tend to really like being pastor’s kids, and they both have strong faith.

The strain on me is a completely different story.   The lack of friends both for the pastor and his wife, and his kids can be a strong reality. We have only felt less of that in the last few years.  The pain of seeing your husband hurt by the people that he serves can be very powerful as well.

I’m interested in hearing your response to this.

Children and Marriage

Pastor Stuckwisch has some very insightful thoughts on leading our children into marriage, and the active role that parents, especially fathers should play in this.

Pastors and Taxes

Last year at this time, I remember getting into a discussion with pastors’ wives on Wittenberg Trail about taxes.  What shocked me was how many of these women said they paid taxes, and how much they said they paid.  These were families that were making about the same as us and possibly significantly less, and all of them had more children than me.    For the record, we have a parsonage, my husband makes district guidelines for Indiana, and we have two kids.  While state taxes here are quite a burden, I don’t know that we have paid Federal income tax since he was ordained.  If we have, it probably was only one or two years, and less than a thousand dollars.

Pastors actually get a bad deal when it comes to taxes.  They have what is called dual status.  This means that Social Security considers them self-employed, which means that they pay ALL 15 % of the Social Security tax There is however a theological exemption from Social Security that is only available to clergy, but it is generally not recommended, since the LCMS for example, runs their retirement system taking Social Security checks into account.

The IRS on the other hand, considers pastors to be employees, which means that the tax benefits that are available to those who are self-employed do not get extended to them.

The only true shelter that pastors get is the Housing Allowance.  But what I am finding is that a lot of pastors’ families do not understand the housing allowance.  Basically, this is what it is:  the amount of the pastors’ income that is used each year to purchase, maintain, or otherwise care for the home is nontaxable income.  This means rent, housing insurance, taxes, furniture, utlities, cleaning supplies, decorations, appliances, internet, cell phones, electronics, repairs for any of the above, paper towels, etc.  all fall under housing allowance.   As an accountant once told me — if you moved into an extended stay hotel, everything that would be in that room is what you deduct.  Here is a form that describes that:  Housing Allowance.

Every year, you look at what you think your expenses will be, and you ask your congregation to put on file at the voters meeting or whatever, what part of your income will be housing allowance.  If it looks like it will be more, have it adjusted at the next voters meeting. If you don’t meet it, you will pay taxes on that part of the income, however if you go over, you don’t get to go beyond what was already determined.  At tax time, you add up what you’ve spent from saved receipts and bills.

During years that are high expense, such as the year a house is bought – with fees, taxes, down payments, moving costs, and so many other things, many pastors have put their whole income under housing allowance.

Many regular accountants don’t understand the nuances that are involved with clergy taxes.  The W-2 is different, especially if there is a parsonage.  It really is good to have someone who is a specialist in this.

My personal recommendation is Witmer-Wood Tax Consultants. They take clergy from all over the country, are no nonsense, and conscientious.  Even if we were not in Indiana, I’d still send my taxes into them to be done.   A couple of the people that I talked with last year went to them after the fact and they went back over their taxes and corrected the errors of previous several years.  I know for a fact, since our W2′s are never done right, they’ve  definitely made up for $125 fee  (they are not paying me in any way shape or form.  I truly love them).  They know church taxes inside and out, and have also helped congregations get their books in order.

(I am not a tax expert, this is my personal experience, so take it for what it is worth and ask an expert as well, but make sure they KNOW clergy tax code)

Back to School

When we lived in Pasadena, I was working on a Masters degree in Marriage and Family Therapy.  Right at the point where I was pretty much done with classwork, but still had my practicum, intership, and thesis to do — I had Maggie.  A break was in order.  And then, Jeff got the call here to Indiana.  There was really no question that this was where God wanted him, and by default — me, so we went.  It also put us near Fort Wayne, so Jeff had a Masters degree he needed to finish — and now that it is done, it’s my turn again.

Unfortunately, I will have to redo a lot.  Masters programs are usually pretty chintzy on how many credits they accept from other Masters programs.  At this point in time, that’s okay, because after being out of it for so long, I feel like I’ve forgotten much more than I’ve remembered.  Sometimes, its interesting just to learn something twice, from two different approaches.

So, in two days, I’ll officially be a student again.  I’m excited.  It’s an online program this time, but even that will be interesting.  Maybe I can get my work done while my kids are doing their lessons.  (Okay, I’m dreaming, I know).

Return to Normalcy?

I work part time as a field interviewer for an organization affiliated with the University of Chicago.  These last few months, I’ve been working  on a project that has mostly been evenings…shift work.  Usually, I go to people’s houses and interview them, or meet them somewhere, and its a combination of at their convenience and mine, so its 3 hours here, 2 hours there, 4 hours somewhere else, at different times.  I find that easier to work with.  I find shift work difficult, especially from home where I can hear life going on in the rest of the home.

For some bizarre reason, the “regularity” also throws me completely off on every other aspect of life.  Maybe because it is just draining, maybe because I am a poor planner and like spontaneity,  I don’t get meals done, and it gets BAD.  I mean BAD.

I want to eat well, but I end up positively relying on fast food.  I have dietary issues…such as needing meat protein, or I start feeling lightheaded, not to mention that I should be avoiding wheat, but don’t do that well either.  I’m domestically handicapped.  I love to cook but stink at cleaning, organizing, planning.

So, any ideas on what might help?  Just wondering.  I have probably another month of this at least.