Acidri wrote the article “Who Prays for the Pastor’s Wife?” on her blog. It is a really good read.
She references these statistics in reference to the pastor‘s family:
* 90% of the pastors report working between 55 to 75 hours per week.
* 80% believe pastoral ministry has negatively affected their families. Many pastor’s children do not attend church now because of what the church has done to their parents.
* 33% state that being in the ministry is an outright hazard to their family.
* 75% report significant stress-related crisis at least once in their ministry.
* 90% feel they are inadequately trained to cope with the ministry demands.
* 70% do not have someone they consider a close friend.
* 50% have considered leaving the ministry in the last months.
* 50% of the ministers starting out will not last 5 years.
* 1 out of every 10 ministers will actually retire as a minister in some form.
* 94% of clergy families feel the pressures of the pastor’s ministry.
* Over 1,700 pastors left the ministry every month last year.
The Fuller Institute, George Barna, and Pastoral Care Inc. 2009
I can definitely say that some of these statistics apply to us, though because my husband does not work 55-75 hours per week (closer to 45-50), he is a very present father and husband, I don’t see the strain on the part of my children. They tend to really like being pastor’s kids, and they both have strong faith.
The strain on me is a completely different story. The lack of friends both for the pastor and his wife, and his kids can be a strong reality. We have only felt less of that in the last few years. The pain of seeing your husband hurt by the people that he serves can be very powerful as well.
I’m interested in hearing your response to this.
I’ve only been a pastor’s wife for two years now, and our first child is still in utero, so I can’t comment on all of this. Although, I came to grips with being a pastor’s wife and accepted all that that would entail long before I realized that meant I had to raise pastor’s kids.
But the friendship is the hardest part for me. I don’t have a full-time job where we are, so the majority of the people that I know in the immediate area are church members. There’s definitely a line of friendship that is very difficult to cross. Everyone is friendly, but close friendship is much more difficult.
I try not to “use” our Pastor a lot. He is so busy. I know all Pastors are busy, but I’ve been around the block demoninational-wise, and from what I can see, Lutheran Pastors are by far the busiest.
In my homeschool group, we just got a new baptist pastors wife whose husbands church just went through a split, and this woman is nearly always falling apart. I guess I never thought of what it does to their wives.
I will definately be praying for my Pastors wife more.
My close friendships are outside our church….home schoolers, other pastor’s wives, teachers at Lutheran schools that are not a part of our church, etc… We have one family that became dear friends while they were members…but they home schooled, too. They moved and we are still close. Another family is close, but the mom is a Lutheran school teacher and the dad was a pastor, briefly, at the beginning of their marriage…somehow I feel like they understand our position. Sometimes it bugs me that we are not close with lots of people at church….we have been here 16 years! Yet, we have to have things in common and reflecting on the folks that are here….there are just a few that would have things in common with us.
My husband should be a pastor….he is good at it….but if he ever got a call to teach at a university….I secretly would love that! I think the ups and downs of life….not feeling personally responsible for the success and failures of the ministry would be gone! (Even though I do know it is Christ who builds His church).
Our kids are turning out just fine…thank God.
Laura
We’re not very close to members of our congregation, either. As Jen said, there is a line there that is difficult to cross, and I don’t know who drew that line…maybe we both did, but it doesn’t seem to get easier…it seems to get harder as the years go by.
My closest friends are Loopers and other Lutheran homeschoolers, for the most part, that live in Fort Wayne, or online.
My husband would love to get a call to teach at the university level, at a mission seminary, or something of that sort. I think that is about the only thing he’d walk away from the pulpit for. One of the things about his call here that brings him the most joy is being a fieldwork pastor.
This reminds of a concept I heard about a while ago. It was the pastor’s (and hopefully the rest of the families) pastor. It was usually a rare layman that the pastor could truly trust to understand the challenges of ministry. Unfortunately they are rare. My heart aches for pastors and their families who struggle with this challenge and I also feel like I can do very little to help. (My weakness and not the fault of the pastors who are out there) I always have ears to listen.
I’m a pastor’s wife and I have no friends. I believe it’s rare when a pastor’s wife can have a real friend in the congregation. I homeschool as well. I think I could drive for a half a day in any direction and not meet any other Lutheran homeschooler. It is very hard. I recently tried being more active in the congregation and people hated everything I did. I do get to talk to others online who are like-minded to myself, and there is one other lady I like who is also a Lutheran pastor’s wife, but she lives almost 2 hours away so we don’t get to hang out very often.
Any non-pastor’s family reading this? If you want to be a real friend to a pastor’s wife, you should invite her to things other than official church events, just like you would any other real friend. You should also accept invitations to her kids birthday parties, invite her kids to your own kids birthday parties, and accept her offers to help you when you are in need. Don’t just brush her off with a “No thanks–I have plenty of friends and family to help me out.” We like to give and help. That’s part of friendship. Don’t make her feel like she’s unneeded.
My 2 cents.
My husband was forced out of the congregation by a very vocal group. This congregation has done the same thing before us to other people and had caused strife among church workers there.
A member got me interested in a hobby that got me way “out of the box” of the congregation…close enough to drive but not close enough to run into any members there. The church members expressed little interest in it, maybe annoyance, but it got me away from them and allowed me to develop a healthy supportive network.
I work at two places part time, and although I facebook with them, I never socialize with them.
I had one close friend in the congregation…another church worker. It is too hard to talk to her now because I am reminded of what happened. I lost another friend in the congregation because of the ordeal also.
The congregation has no idea just how much heart and soul goes into serving them. His talents include writing, and he is great at visiting the sick and being a chaplain at the local nursing home. Those people are appreciative of him.
I am very hurt by the whole ordeal, and I thought that I had tougher skin than I do. Mainly, I am just angry. Less angry than initially, but still angry. It doesn’t help we are living near them still for other reasons. I would like to move back to my hometown, but the cost of living would be much higher, and my husband would be less likely to “fill in” for pastors.
We now attend a church where our spiritual needs are very well attended to. But I am very cautious about making friends there.
I look at people who are entering seminary and try to talk them out of it. I work with someone who is dating a seminarian and actively try to talk her out of going down that route. If she still does marry him, at least she will know the realities of things.
Steph,
Yeah. My son wants to be a pastor as well. It is almost painfully obvious that is where God wants him…has been since he was little. I would rather he do just about anything but that, because I know how hard it is to be constantly scrutinized, and I feel for his future wife, already.
I go back and forth. It is becoming more common for congregations to oust their pastor, but it still isn’t the norm. I hate to tell people not to serve God when that is their desire, but I am more willing than I used to be to tell them that it is very possible that they will get hurt more than they imagined possible. But that there are also times where God will show them how blessed they are, and how much they have blessed others…more than they can imagine. I know your husband has been an amazing blessing to so many people he’s never even had the privilege to look in the eyes and shake hands…me included.
God bless you both.
Kevin,
A father confessor or as you said “a pastor’s pastor” is a very good idea. Pastors need spiritual care as well. It is hard for them to seek it out. In the LCMS, that originally is what the circuit counselor was supposed to be, but that has degenerated into a bureaucratic position, and with the huge differences in theological positions, can have other problems as well.
Oh Steph–I feel for you. My dad was a pastor and he had to resign from one of his congregations, and the others he left under a pretty bad cloud as well. My husband hasn’t had the “joy” of being forced out, and I pray he never will.
If you haven’t checked out the Augustana Ministerium yet, please do so. http://augustanaministerium.org/index.html
Acts 13:50 But the Jews incited the God-fearing women of high standing and the leading men of the city. They stirred up persecution against Paul and Barnabas, and expelled them from their region. 51 So they shook the dust from their feet in protest against them and went to Iconium. 52 And the disciples were filled with joy and with the Holy Spirit.
Steph–if you ever need another jaded pastor’s wife to talk to, please feel free to email me. kathbisc at hotmail dot com.
Steph,
My husband and I walked a similar road many years ago. At times I still struggle with what happened and why God allowed my husband to go all the way through seminary, just to end up leaving the Ministry completely in just 5 years.
I will pray for you. One lesson I’ve learned is that vengeance belongs to the LORD. It helped me to let go of the bitter pain and anger.
I don’t know who you are or where you live, but know that I will be helping to bear your burden.
Sara K.
Milwaukee, WI
Hey, I found you on FB but have seen your blog in the Lutheran blog world. As far as this post. I can relate to so much of that. We’ve been at our 1st call 4 years starting 5 and it has been awful. My kids have been treated badly as well as myself and DH. We have no friends in church and are accused of being unfriendly. It’s been tough on our marriage. David has numerous times thought of leaving the ministry. He was offered a computer job last fall but we turned it down to try to stick it out longer but now regret that. So that about sums it up for us.
Lisa
WOW, I’m not alone!
Okay, so I am a pastors wife to be my husband is in seminary. I have been reading this thread, and thinking wow is there anything GOOD about it? Really…I would love to know.
Leavingur,
I think different people with different experiences will have different opinions. I have known pastor’s wives who seem to be perfectly happy. Perhaps they have a thick skin. Perhaps they have a stronger faith than I do. Perhaps they haven’t been part of an abusive congregation. Perhaps they’re faking it. Who knows?
For my part, I am of 2 minds. First, I know that I am part of something very very special. I am the wife of a man who administers the mysteries of the kingdom–the Word and sacraments. I am the wife of the devil’s worst enemy.
The other part of me would be perfectly happy if my husband quit and decided to do something else. Sometimes it’s a tough burden to be part of something “special.” Sometimes it would be nice to just kind of blend in and be normal for once. Sometimes it would be nice not to feel like Satan and all the powers of hell are constantly trying to destroy us and the church.
I think if you go into it knowing that the devil hates what your husband is doing, you might be spiritually prepared for his tricks. And remember, Jesus is the “stronger man.” Luke 11:22
“One little word can fell him.”
Hey Everyone,
Here I sit after 33 years as a pastors wife and more heartache than I wish to remember. My husband just retired and we live in the same town as the church, but with no other LCMS church here. We drive 40 miles north to attend a church. Can’t get to involved there.
We have no, no, not one friend here in our town and we will probably never hear from anyone at the prior church…….
I have been told that I spout off at the mouth by an elder simply because I asked him (he painted the fellowship hall) if he used flat paint. Have been told “who do you think you are” and on and on and on.
I am soooooooo glad to be done here and just want to get the heck out of ‘Dodge’. When the house sells????????
Only have lived here for 27 1/2 years and I can’t wait to get away.
My husband was diagnosed with mild cognitive impairment last November and asked for some help from church members. Do you think anyone even said they would love to help him with tasks? NO!!!!!!!!!!
Wipe the dust off my shoes, you bet!
leavingur,
I’ve been sitting here hoping someone could say it better than me…I’m in a pretty negative state of mind right now, and with it also being call week, with the excitement and anticipation and memories that it brings up, I’ve felt pretty confused on the matter.
I don’t know if I am the best person to talk about this. I have never wanted to be a pastor’s wife. I almost broke up with my husband six weeks before our wedding because I really didn’t think I could do it and I certainly didn’t want to do it. But I loved him and wanted to be with him too much.
And I can’t exactly tell you what I struggle with. We’ve never had a hurtful or abusive congregation…but just the idea that 140 people can have an opinion on what my daughter said during Sunday School opening or on the name of my blog or a myriad of other things is enough to send me on the edge of an anxiety disorder. I’ve had the very intimate and personal pain of losing children during pregnancy have to be part of the “after church announcements.” I’ve had people scrutinize me up and down…and I only know about it through statements shared from elders meetings or hints of gossip, often months after the fact. No, I don’t cope well with this life.
For two days after you asked your question, I sat there and said “I find NO joy in this.” But that is not right. As I’ve said in another post, I know that God used this to save me from running away from Him. I also know have found joy in hearing the gospel from the lips of my husband and being fed the sacrament from his hand. I will never forget the joy of standing next to him, squeezing his arm as his voice cracked as he baptized our long-awaited for daughter. I’ve seen people snatched from Satan’s grasp and find their Savior through my husband. I feel joy in my husband’s joy, because he loves being a pastor, even when he’s weary, disrespected, and misunderstood.
But in the end, my joy comes from the blessings that God has given me in my marriage. My children, my husband who loves me with such tenderness that I know I don’t deserve. It shows me God’s grace. And if God was loving enough to not let me be stupid enough to walk away from a man who is this incredible, (despite being a pastor) He has something for me here, too, though at times I try to work the angle that maybe what God has is a lesson for my husband that he should have mercy on his wife and find something else, anything else to do.
In the mean time, He also has given me jobs, studies, friends, and volunteer work outside of the congregation that have served as good distractions from when I am overwhelmed by that aspect of my life.
There are benefits, too. We have a parsonage, and even when we didn’t, we have always lived close. The fact that my husband has always made it a point to be flexible in his work times (he often comes home at other times or goes in later since he often works evenings), or comes home for lunch and that we can so easily interact gives us the wonderful blessing of having his work be a part of our lives, rather than something that always takes him away from us. There are congregation members that go out of their way to do things for us, to show love. And I have met some of the most godly, wonderful, loving people…that far outshine me. People I am honored to know.
There will be pain on this side of Heaven, and as Kathrine said, you will be under attack because your husband is Satan’s enemy. I like that she addressed that. It is terribly important to remember.
The things that we sem wives worried about in seminary, I find aren’t the things that end up causing pain…and even if they are, it didn’t matter how much we tried to avoid those things, they still happened. But most of the time, for me at least, the issues are ones that are so completely out of left field that it leaves me in shock. So trust in God, know that He has promised that He will be there for you, and know you are not alone…either as far as pastor’s wives go..or as far as believers go. The Bible is full of examples that show we will suffer for Christ. But no one suffered more than He did…and He’s victorious.
I’ve heard Pastor Todd Wilken say “If you CAN do something else…do. Do something else, anything else. If you are called, chances are you can’t.” I’m assuming that’s how it is with your husband. That’s how it is with mine. I don’t know what else to do but TRY to love him and just deal with it. That’s where I always end up.
RPW,
I couldn’t have said it better myself.
MK,
I know where you’re coming from. You sound a bit like my mother, also a pastor’s wife.
In your situation, maybe you do not want anyone from the congregation helping you or your husband anyway. They would just go back and gossip about everything they saw at your house and everything you said and did. That is how my mother felt by the time she got to where you are now.
Just remember that you are not alone. Jesus promised to be with you always, and He is. And we, your cyber-friends are here too.
RPW,
Ditto.
Kathrine,
Some days I am more bitter than I want to be, but other days I can focus on the joys God has brought into my life while being a “pastor’s wife”.
I think back to two women I worked with in two different jobs.
Now, I never go around telling people hey, I’m a pastor’s wife, but they always find out.
One woman I invited to the only ever friendship Sunday our church had and she came!!!!!
Became a member and has been serving and growing in her faith ever since.
The other one asked if my husband was a Lutheran Pastor and I said yes, she came to the church on her own and brought her daughter. Children were baptized, weddings took place and through those happenings, more of her family and friends have come to hear the true Word of God given by my husband a very faithful shepherd of the Lord.
So, even though there has been much pain and sorrow, there has also been many blessings that can never be counted!
Your love, O Lord reaches to the heavens, your faithfulness to the skies. Psalm 36:5 AMEN!!
Well we seem to all be in very similar situations. My husband is 2nd career pastor so it was never my intent to be a PW. We are in a congregation who really don’t like us because we homeschool. I’ve tried being more involved but I really feel it is my “calling” to take care of the family. They gossip about us all the time quite frankly I’m sick of it. I would love for my husband to do something else but I have heard the same thing that if guys are called they won’t be able to do or happy to do anything else. Well for some of us the pastor was a husband or a father or both before the “call” to the church came along. So that needs to be considered too.
I also have no friends in the church, my kids have no friends in the church. We are just trying to deal with a bad situation in hopes of something to change. Sometimes we think about buying a house and commuting to church but then can we really afford that without killing ourselves.
What struck me about this blog was not just the statistics in the post but the question “who does pray for the PW” probably other pastor wives, it is not members of the church. I think in alot of churches because people are the way that they are sinful, needing their own needs met, etc…then the wife and kids are considered baggage that comes with the pastor.
I too am a blunt person by nature, I’m trying to curb that some since I dont’ want to do damage myself or add to anymore problems but often times the slightest thing you say can be taken wrong. It’s just the like the person who commented their daughter might say something and then everyone will have an opinion about that. It isn’t right but it is the nature of the beast, the nature of this life we seem to be in (ministry). I unfortunately have no answers to any of our dilemas. I know there are good churches out there I think they are few and far between compared to say 50 years ago when faith in God and service at church was important to this country.
Lisa
Maybe we should form a support group.
I like the idea of a support group.
I must say that yes, we mostly all experience the pitfalls of being a pastor’s wife, but the joys also.
I too am a wife of a second career guy. I loved my former life and the state I lived in and the family ties we had there. I fought the idea of going to a far away land (Springfield,Illinois). I’m a west coast gal, but God won out and I went with my husband and 3 children, although the grooves in the highway are from me dragging my feet all the way! This was way back in 1974…..oh my gosh I’m old!
As to the original question, who prays for the pastors wife?
Well, in my case the elders every now and then would make a comment that they were “praying” for me.
Never actually asked me if I had any prayer request or when my mother died or my mother-in-law died or my brother-in law died or when I had surgeries did I ever have them come pray with me, so maybe they did pray just not ever with me.
LET’S PRAY WITH AND FOR EACH OTHER!
A support group is a possibility..if you’d like to email me privately at rebelliouspastorswife on the old gmail com, we can discuss things like email vs. private blog.
I have always prayed for my pastors’ wives and their families. Standing on the outside, I see that it must be difficult. Because of this post, for the past nine days, I have begun and ended my days praying for the wives of confessional Lutheran pastors everywhere, most especially for those whose heartache is spilled out here. As God is willing, I will continue to do so. I am so very sorry that you all are not cherished, championed, and forgiven by your parishioners. That you are not is a terrible shame on our Church.
Much to my sorrow and regret, I am in a new parish. But even in my own hurt and confusion, I have noticed that the new pastor’s wife always sits alone in the pew. I have wondered if she does so on purpose or if she does so because no one wants to sit with a pastor’s wife. Before and after the service, I often see people in the church office sitting and talking with her. So, I would imagine she is cared about and for, but something seems so strange to always see her alone. Each time I do, I pray for her.
I am, I suspect, the sort of sheep who would make your life difficult, needing more help from an undershepherd than any of you would like. In His infinite mercy, God has recently provided a pastor far way who has stepped forward and said let me care for you, let me help you, let me show you want a father is that you might know God more. And he has, much to my amazement, done exactly that, as I have never been cared for and truly find a puzzlement and a conundrum. He emails and calls and asks me to call if I need it. He greets each one of my emails, even those which wail my despair, with joy, calling them beautiful and blessing to him. He allows me to speak the things that the world demands you keep secret and, in return, croons, whispers, and sings the love of God our Father, the Lord Jesus Christ, His Son, and the Holy Spirit in such a way that even a wounded sheep such as I, burdened even more by 26 years in the false works-based doctrine of Protestant churches, can understand. He is so patient when my life does not seem to follow what I believe, when I find the familiarity of the lies I’ve been taught easier than the Truth I believe. Lord, I believe. Help my unbelief!
But even as he has, I have wondered about his wife, worried that she would resent, regret, or be angry that he has given a virtual stranger much of his time, here and there, to bring me Jesus. He has told her about me and she agrees that it is good, right, and proper that he give me the sweet, sweet Gospel. I weep in gratitude that at least I am not a bother to her as I long to hear and understand that Gospel and know, truly know, that I am forgiven here, now, today and will be tomorrow and thereafter, not just on the cross as some sort of fire insurance. There are too many things I need to unlearn, untangle on my own.
It is an honor and a privilege to hear the words of you women here, to know better how to pray for you, to lift you up before our God, to fight our enemy who attacks you so effectively. I know better how to pray for the pastor’s wife of the parish I left and for the one in which I now hide in the back pew.
Thank you for sharing. Hear me and know that you are cherished for the love and support you pour out over your husbands and your children, helping them to bring that sweet, sweet Gospel in such a vile world to wretched sinners who need its healing…I chief among them…truly so.
May God shower you and your husbands with His grace and mercy to fill you and sustain you for those battles you each face. May He move in the hearts of your parishioners to open their eyes, to help them see you, your family, your needs. May you find an increase of time with your husbands, of support from your parishioners, of peace in your lives.
Myrtle,
I think I can speak for most pastor’s wives when we say we do not mind it when our husbands spend a lot time counseling those who are sick, depressed, or even just have theological questions. These are the things he enjoys doing the most–bringing the gospel to those who are hurting in one way or another. I think the things that try our patience are all the administrative things that take up time–meetings and whatnot. And some pastors have a specific day off during the week, but people call anyway with questions/complaints that could wait until the next day. It is ok to interrupt his day off if there is an emergency like a sickness or a death in the family. But for the most part, if a pastor wants a day off, he has to leave town or something.
Myrtle,
I completely agree with Kathrine. Counseling and parishioners who need extra care from their shepherd are rarely the problem. At least THEY value him, need him, and use his skills. Emails and calls can be brief interruptions. It is the administrative stuff, or the interruptions on days off, gossipers, and complainers that complain over trivial stuff, and usually not to his face so he can’t respond with love and caring. It CAN become difficult…I’m not going to lie. But it is the pastor’s job to set healthy boundaries, while still letting the person know that if they need him, he is there.
Thank you for your prayers. God bless you!
I am such a weak sheep, but I wanted to add that should any of you wish for someone to pray specifically for her or for a particular situation, prayers from one who would surely cherish, champion, and forgive you were she in your parish, you are welcome to but ask…anytime. If nothing else, Luther has taught me to revel in the Psalter so I have a psalm for most anything! myrtlebernice at hotmail dot com.
As far as the administrative stuff, I now do the bulletins/devotionals/inserts for a parish in another state where the pastor is a one-man shop. [I am a communications manager.] Maybe there are things I could do to lighten an administrative load for you or your husband…editing, writing, or desktop publishing.
I work full time, but spend nights and weekends on the couch because I have not one or two or even three, but four chronic incurable diseases. MS stinks the worst. I hate that I have no more energy than it takes to sit on the couch most of the time. So, I am always hankering for something to fill those long hours and welcome most things that actually help others.
If I can do it long distance for one pastor, maybe I could do it for others.
Just a thought.
Know that you were covered in prayer this Lord’s Day as I sat in the pew…you, your husbands, your children…and your flock.
Thank you again for being so brave to share your hurt and teach me such a valuable lesson.
Myrtle, it sounds like you are more of a blessing to your congregation than you know!
My best friend is a pastor’s wife. I have learned from her that good friends are hard to find. They are constantly judged. Everyone expects things from them but they seem to not realize they can reciprocate. They feel alone. They like to come “hide” on our deck and say they feel safe with us. Being a pastor’s wife is so hard. I have a new appreciation for all of you! Thanks for supporting your husband and the church and for all you sacrifice in the name of the Lord.
Wow! I read this blog from time to time. I never post because I am not a pastor’s wife. I am a dude who wanted to be a pastor but chose another route. I am amazed (disgusted sometimes) by the things that happen in churches. When I read all these comments it makes me sad that we treat pastors and their families this way. God bless all of you and stay strong in your faith in Christ.
By the way, I will be trying harder to be supportive of my pastor and his family.
I enjoyed reading through everyone’s comments. My husband is a second career UMC pastor and today he changed to a new church in our home town. For the past three and a half years I have stayed on the down low as to not in any way ‘corrupt” his ministry but I am lonely and wonder if I will make friends at this new church. It’s funny; the folks at the old church don’t have a clue about what I know about them but they know very little about me.
It gets really hard. I am a pastors wife and i have been through a lot. I dont’ want any friends in the congregation. Its been hard. Rejection, being misunderstood, talked about and told always to walk in love and treat others right, they basically walk all over me and treat me how they want too. I have some wounds tht i need to get rid of. I am lonely at times and wont try to reach into the congregation. Ive tried befriending people but it dont work..so i will just hopefully develop some true friends…ive tried so hard and now im tired…..dont know what else to do…
deedee,
The date next to your post says October 31, but I just now got it in my inbox. Must be a programmatic kink in the internet or something.
Anyway, I just wanted you to know that I read your post and sympathize with what you have said. I am in the same boat you are and are also feeling very tired. If you haven’t talked to your doctor about the way you feel, you should. I’m taking a nice little pill now that helps me with my anger, anxiety, and sadness. It doesn’t solve all my problems, it doesn’t “change my personality,” as so many people fear, but it DOES keep me from crying in the shower or getting too angry to attend church. That’s a good personality change, if anything.
Just remember that God works through weakness, and when we are weak, He is strong.
Kathrine
DeeDee,
I just want to say I’ve been there too. I know that doesn’t help much with anything you are feeling. It’s unfortunate that so many treat their pastor’s families the way we have experienced. I too have some anger issues and many hurt feelings and we’ve only been here 5.5 years. I just go this response too so I’m not sure why it took so many weeks to register in my email box. I hope and pray that things change for you at some point. It can be very draining on you and your family. It’s hard to love people when they walk all over you or to turn the other cheek like we are suppose to. I try to tell myself Jesus was treated this way too. It doesn’t really help with the anger but sometimes when I say that to myself and can then just “sigh” and hope that my groaning reaches the ears of our heavenly father.
Lisa