Rebekah at Concordian Sisters of Perpetual Parturition has a very good post to keep in mind here called “Friending.”
She makes a great point. 
Often, pastors’ families are encouraged to not get too close to the congregation. Sometimes, after being hurt a few times, we back away from people. Sometimes, members of the congregation don’t want to let us into their lives. I’ve experienced all three situations. But that doesn’t mean that no one is friend material, or that you won’t find friends somewhere in the congregation or in the community.
Be kind, be loving, be open — with the love of Christ — who was open and loving despite having his heart broken so many times by those he came in contact with — and pray for peace and friends. And always feel free to remind me of that, as well. 
Thanks for this blog. As a pastor’s wife, I appreciate reading about someone else’s experiences in ministry. I can relate to a lot of what you write!
I am giving my own hand at a blog and would love some feedback: http://www.robinsideabook.blogspot.com.
Thanks for your time.
Robin
I agree. As a coach’s wife, I’ve been hurt by by parents and friends. But as Christians, we can’t let that get to us…even though it’s SO HARD not to! I take things very personal, and have to constantly remind myself of the passage in Ephesians about “heaping coals of kindness on their heads.”
Thanks for the reminder! Great post!
Amen! We are MADE for relationship and we just can NOT think we do not need friends.
In my experience, it depends a great deal on the character (and health) of the church community whether the members might think of the pastor’s wife (or child) as a potential friend. I have had much more success being a friend than having a friend in the congregation. Fortunately I have a handful of very dear friends in the community that I can rely on regardless of what’s happening at church.
I agree, Ruth. Sometimes that is the case, and the community is a resource as well.
My husband is a pastor and I am blessed to have a single true friend at church, but it took 10 years to find her. The lack of friendship has been the most difficult part of being a pastor’s wife.
Emily
Have been at 3 churches in the 4 years my husband and I have been married and in ministry. We have been hurt so badly by 2 of the 3 and its has been hard to trust those who try and get close to us. Even at the church we are at now I just got through a huge ordeal with someone I was getting close to and she completely turned and was talking to another pastors wife (from a different church) about the problems we were facing saying that I had a twisted world view! Oh my goodness so needless to say I am having huge issues with finding friends and trying to be “myself” around those people.